Cedar Point....Greatest Place To Get Shitty Food

So I've just returned from an extended weekend at Cedar Point, the greatest rollercoaster park in the entire world, and I must say that the press is correct more now than ever before; Cedar Point has many of the best rollercoasters in the world. The Millennium Force is an absolute must ride (although it still can't match the Magnum's view as you whip into the double banked turns) and the Top Thrill Dragster is just....well, there isn't really a good way to explain that damn thing. However, unlike before when you used to have to wait two hours just to ride a coaster, nowadays you can even get on a good one in less than half an hour which leaves a lot of time to grab some grub. Sadly, at Cedar Point "grub" is only slightly better than actually foraging through the woods looking for actual grubs to eat. Mainly, they have hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, and chicken fingers; all served at various different venues about the park and all of equally poor quality. They even had one pizza place that was touted as being "new and improved!" that served food of such poor quality we concluded that it must have previously been a restroom or garbage area before being turned into a restaurant; thus giving it the "new and improved" status.

Later, at the Snoopy Fire-Grilled Burger Place (which served the same horrendous burgers as everyplace else) I tossed a few inedible fries into the river that meanders through a portion of the park. Immediately, the carp by the shore jumped at the fries but all quickly spit them back out. They chose to instead eat their own feces as opposed to sucking down a Cedar Point fry. Personally, I was impressed by their decision at first but then I figured they had probably eaten the fries for many years before they figured out their own shit tasted better.

As for myself, I'll double up on the Happy Meals and maybe pack a bag full of, well, just about any sort of edible shit I can find before my next trip to Cedar Point.