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Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Ishtar, Popeye, Caligula, & The Last Action Hero

They are all saved as Round Three eliminates them as well as these others from my top ten worst movies of the last thirty years:

3000 Miles to Graceland
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Ballistic: Ecks versus Sever
Congo
Cutthroat Island
Drop Dead Fred
Godzilla
The Gospel
Heaven's Gate
Joe's Apartment
Judge Dredd
Last Rites
Lost In Space
The Postman
She-Devil
Star Trek V: The Final Frontier
Town & Country

It would seem that if some movies are bad enough that they will almost always gather a cult following. Caligula, Star Trek V, and Joe's Apartment are all proof of that. These movies were bad, bad, bad and yet they were saved by alot of people giving them perfect ten reviews. Watch Joe's Apartment and I dare you to say this movie was anything above wretched. I dare you! It's singing cochroaches on a toilet with no friggin' point! Sure, I like Jerry O'Connell but even he was bad in this movie and I'm certain that if you were to ask him if he could go back in time and choose between still doing this movie or gaining all the weight back from his Stand By Me days he would probably....well, actually he'd probably still do Joe's Apartment. Which proves that Jerry O'Connell is an idiot because he agreed to do the hideous movie in the first place! As further proof, he also did Kangaroo Jack some seven years later. Hey, Jerry here's a bit of professional advice: Get A New Agent. Either that or gain the weight back and do a sitcom. There are plenty of less talented guys making a killing in Hollywood doing that.