Google
 
Web blogofthebard.blogspot.com

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Disappointed and dejected and any other word that means the same thing as those

Usually, The Discovery Channel is honest in it's pursuits (sure it exaggerates but, hey, what network doesn't?) so when it told me that I would finally get to see a live Architeuthis (or Giant Squid, if you would prefer) I got fairly excited. I've watched ten years of specials containing smart people with fancy boats and even fancier subs on quests to catch a glimpse of a giant squid and always in the end, I get to see the same old photos of some small fishing boat showing a slimey old giant squid carcass they pulled out of their fishing net. But this time was different as The Discovery Channel said quite firmly that this was a live giant squid, not the same old dead ones they show all of the time. Long story short, after nearly ten years of waiting I was finally about to get my geek on. I was psyched (so psyched that I almost taped it and I haven't done that since Babylon 5) and eager to see what had never been seen before by man. Instead, what I got was this:




Yes, that is a giant squid and, yes, it is alive. Some Japanese scientist snared it on a hook while some sort of crappy underwater camera snapped pictures of it's struggle every thirty seconds. Eventually the squid rips it's tentacle off and all they get to pull on board is that very same twitchy tentacle (which the narrator proclaims to be alive as if only to toy with my level of intelligence). Did The Discovery Channel really think that would be a satisfying sight? Some grainy still images every thirty seconds and enough giant squid sushi to feed a hundred guests and their spouses? If these Japanese dudes are serious giant squid hunters couldn't they at least get a better camera (like one that records maybe)? And isn't there some sort of law that says you can't hunt giant squid unless you have some sort of submersible vehicle by which to go down and investigate said squid on a face to face basis? However, if your plan is to snare a giant squid, wouldn't it make better sense to put an electronical tag in the hook and have the line break so that you can use the tag to track the squid for a bit (you know, so you can get a layout of it's travel habits) instead of forcing it to rip off it's tentacle? Or you could get a better camera...I know I said that already but, really....I'm beggin' yah....get a better damn camera. Your a Japanese scientiest and plenty of Japanese companies make really good ones so they shouldn't be too damn hard to find. You found the first live giant squid so you obviously have some skill as to finding things....that's all I'm saying.