Still Nothing Funnier Than an Onion

So I was browsing through The Onion the other day and I started to think to myself that while The Onion is a pretty fun place, what if there are other, even funnier, foods out there on the Internet. As far as foods go, in my opinion at least, there are plenty of fruits and vegetables with more chuckle potential than an onion. Take, for instance, a dill pickle. I've always thought that dill pickles had classic humor potential so on a whim I typed in www.thedillpickle.com and was immediately taken to the webpage of Lori Dillick, Caldwell Banker realtor and, apparently, a really big fan of cucumbers in a jar of vinegar. However, as funny goes, Lori's site lacked the overall satire and punchy wit one would expect from a dill pickle. But, to be fair, Lori does offer FREE Brochures!! which is always nice. Next, I tried www.theapple.com and found that it was not even a website yet. However, it could be yours for the price of 2,430 bucks which I guess is a bargain considering the overall nutritional value of a good apple. Next, I discovered that The Orange is no longer called an orange. It's called a zOokin. You would think the FDA would keep the public abreast of such changes but apparently our billions of dollars in taxes don't cover educating us as to when an orange becomes a zOokin.

Next, I found that The Mango is actually the site of a Jewish rap producer Irv Gotti, once head of the infamous Murder, Inc. So, if you will excuse me, I'd like to give a big shout out to Goo Goo, 8-Ball, Wasabi, and The Machine as well as The Mango himself! I always knew you were innocent of those money laundering charges brother!

After hitting a few more fruit and vegetable websites and coming up empty I was about to give up when I discovered these fine people:




These are The Leftovers and they are availble to do your wedding, graduation, party, funeral...whatever...at a moment's notice. Just by the look of 'em you can tell that they rock but if you need proof then watch this video of The Leftovers performing at a gig (they are the people on the stage that you are almost, but not completely, unable to hear). Now I'm off to get me some free brochures before crazy Lori comes back to her senses.