The Spoiled Giant & The Giddy Flea

When I first saw this pic the other day on a couple of different places, I assumed that it was a fake:

But after many hours of high end sprectro-analysis, imaging truthification software, and celebrity data purification logrithms, I believe that the picture is authentic. Actually, I just blew it up a bit on PhotoShop and looked around for some of that tell-tale doctoring. I couldn't find any but I really didn't look that hard. Still, it's an impressive picture because either Kate has turned into some type of Amazonian or Tom has morphed into some sort of mythical land creature (by my guess he's a wood nymph with a +2 to peppiness). Curious, I dabbled around trying to find another pic where these two look like the more popular version of David Spade dating....well, David Spade dating anybody really. I didn't find much of anything but they say Tom has some really impressive lifts in his shoes and he does wear high-heeled cowboy boots quite alot. Then I remembered that the above pic was taken outside of the United States and so I went that route and quickly came up with this beauty.

This one was also captured abroad, while Katie was late in the pregnancy. You can already see that she has grown significantly in height just during her pregnancy alone. What does this mean? I really haven't a fucking clue but my gut feeling is that Scientology is causing this perfect couple to mutate at a rapid level. While in the states it is obvious that they have the clout to distort the truth--much the same way John Travolta made people believe that Battlefield: Earth was a good idea even after the movie had been made. Overseas, however, they can't hide from the fact that they are turning into the planets first supervillains. I can only hope that Brad & Angelina's many humanitarian efforts can cause a burst of genetic mutation as well so that they can one day thwart the soon end to humanity as we know it.