Giant Microbes

As we near the holiday season, I think I might mix up my gift buying this year. Really, I’m just sick of buying dad another pair of jeans and a gift card to Sears so this year I’m gonna give him...Flesh Eating Virus. I know how he hates going on all of those diets so I figure that might in some way inspire him to keep losin’ the weight! As for mom, I know what she needs after watching my sister’s baby all day and I imagine the holidays will only be worse for her so I think a nice Sleeping Sickness will do her a lot of good. But I’m saving the real goodie for the wife as I plan on surprising her on Christmas morning with The Clap. That’s right, she gets gonorrhea for all those years in college when she probably expected it but I didn’t give it to her. If you want to mix up your gift buying this year by giving friends and family a little Black Death or Ebola, you might wanna check out Giant Microbes website.

Sadly, as of yet, they don’t have Bird Flu which sucks because that’s a perfect gift for my step-dad, who thinks he is going to get it every time a pigeon craps on his window. As for myself, I wouldn’t mind getting The Flu because I could stay home a few days guilt free since I could honestly tell my boss, "No, I can’t come in today. A friend gave me the flu."